what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
