yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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