She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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