This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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