She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
