"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
