best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
