my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize
