If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
