in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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