I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
BRING THE BAGELS
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
