his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
