he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
