I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he shaved USA in his pubs
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
