My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
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