you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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