Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
