You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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