I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
