Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
