walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
