I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
