i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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