Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
