Whod you bang
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
