dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
