Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
