I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
How naked do you want me to be?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
