Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
