Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
