Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
