But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
