Sry I called you an 8
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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