If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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