Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Randomize
