Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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