STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
