What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
