I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize