The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
