I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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