Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
