Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
