Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
