Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
