I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
