Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
