Umm I'm too high to move.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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