Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
