Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
