I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Randomize
